peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize