come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
