i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
