So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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