Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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