she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
