i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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