Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
