Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
