so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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