He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
