I wanna bring you to show and tell
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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