hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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