Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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