My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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