How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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