R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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