the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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