Capitaan dildo arrescate!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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