told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
