She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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