If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
