Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
