North Korea, Best Korea!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
