just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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