...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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