Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
