Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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