Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's blow job season.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
