Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
