New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
