the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
