The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
