Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
