Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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