I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
