And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
