Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
