i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
