Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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