there's paper in my vomit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
