Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
