I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
