You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
PANTIES FOUND
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