rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So here I am, sexting at work.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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