dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
