they need to just BURY HIM!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
