Did you just see the Batmobile???
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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