I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
