hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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