Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
