The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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