were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
