You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize