My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
