I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
smell my finger.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
