If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
