Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
