i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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