i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
