the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
