I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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