bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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