I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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