Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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