You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize