did you get engaged???
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
