Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
