how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So vagazzling was a success
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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