It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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