Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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