all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize