In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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