talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
