Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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