This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
