It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
