people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
