I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize