So drunk its hurt
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
