oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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