Umm I'm too high to move.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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