so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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